We're kidding, of course. Like Senator Ted Cruz and every other Republican before him, George P's response to Donald Trump, who ridiculed his future presidential father as "low energy" and claims his family "like Mexican illegals" because George's mother was born in Mexico, must be … um sucking on him.
Politico has a quick look at where things are after the most despondent of all bushes bent his knee to Donald over a phone call. The short version is that George Trump has been courting for a long time and that it is all about politics. Donald Trump, incompetent, lethal Blowhard, is more popular with Republicans in Texas than Father Jeb! or Uncle President Guy, so the family is out and Typhus Hitler is in. After all, a man has to be chosen. George P. Bush is not the kind of person who would be content with simply not being in politics.
Again, this is the expected behavior of all elected Republican officials. It is necessary. You are expected to exude an aura of utter spinelessness and you will face angry primary challenges if you, as Republican lawmaker, don't thoroughly humiliate yourself to the world's most clearly deranged reality television star. Do you want George P. Rep. Liz Cheney to attack for championing Trump's support for a seditious act? You got it, boss. He takes out his cell phone and does it right away.
Republicans seem to really hate Trump, mind you. There are no illusions there about what Trump is or how destructive he is. In another story of the day, we learn that Republican lawmakers and aides fear Trump's possible return to politics. "This guy is a disaster," it says in an anonymous quote. "If we win back the majority," it will be "despite Trump".
After one final round of tax cuts, former House Speaker Paul Ryan flew out of Washington, DC at such a rate that windows across the Beltway were shattered. He's been as dumb as a mouse ever since, even when Trump turned his party into a clown show making fun of politics. He shows up at the Reagan Library tonight to make a downright milquetoast request that his party deviate from Trumpism – in language that Trump, at least in his "expected remarks", never criticizes by name and has little bad to say about it the toxic faux populism his party is now using in place of political positions.
Are we supposed to believe Ryan? Absolutely not. Not even a little. Paul Ryan used his power in Washington to land an appearance on Fox News' board of directors. He has maintained that spot throughout the network's jolt of white nationalist content, pandemic denialism, and other joke advertising. Tucker Carlson's white nationalist show exists because Paul Ryan and the rest of the board want it to exist. Man is the essence of spinelessness.
In his remarks, Paul Ryan is also expected to refer to President Joe Biden as the "leftist" and deplore our "awakened" society. Paul Ryan's objections to Trumpism do not include actual objections to the content of Trumpism or, initially, criticism of Trump. It is once again an exercise in public humiliation, in that news outlets like CNN believe it is their own story for a Republican speaker to report a line that could hardly be construed as asking the party to shut down relax on the Trump worship.
For a party so closely associated with premises of toxic masculinity, the actual behavior of its supposed leaders is confusing at best. Lindsey Graham humiliates herself for Trump almost every day. The Republicans of the House compete fiercely with one another to be the most visibly submissive of all, to fulfill Trump's commandment and to protect Trump's idiots and scoop praise in his direction, no matter how clownish his actions are. Any Republican showing actual spine or independent thought, like Rep. Liz Cheney, leads to screeching panic.
And the basis? The base is expected to be absolutely terrified all along, especially. If a food service employee incorrectly hands you your hamburger, treat it as communist interference. If you need to hear a black American talk about racism, it must be because red China wants it. You must be afraid of yoga. You need to panic thinking about wearing a mask to keep your own relatives from dying. You have to get your pants wet with fear when you think of refugee children standing on the southern border – you absolutely have to froth at the danger posed by a Guatemalan tween – or you leave Club Bravedude.
And Trump, the alpha male who is considered the dear leader that everyone else has to bow to, no matter how many insults he hurls at their families or allies? The man is a wilting flower above all else. There's never been a more paranoid person in the Oval Office, and that says something. The guy thought a worldwide disease outbreak was a conspiracy to make him look bad personally. The guy spent four obsessive years believing everyone in the government wanted to get him and tasking his advisors to fire them all before they could. A tame eagle flapped at him with its wings and he shot off as if under sniper fire.
This is not a move by masculine men to reclaim their toughness. This is a collection of the greatest cowards in America who watch each other to make sure everyone else is as good natured as they are. The Fox News crowd screeches again and again when a new cultural spider is found for the movement to trample over to walk itself.
What's going on here anyway? How the hell are we supposed to understand a movement that demands maximum cowardice from every civil servant? Hey George P. Bush, can you understand this for us? Because all we see from the outside is a group of spineless and amoral weasels curling up to other spineless weasels to … what? Do you need to do it all over again?